A similar post on BeautifulOutlaws can be found here.
BeautifulOutlaws approached me recently with a set of life intriguing questions. I thought that today is the appropriate moment to answer the questions. I guess it is also a chance to test if I could indeed bare my soul and allow myself be seen nakedly.
Note: I took more than two weeks trying to answer these questions. On second thoughts, “today” is not a good description after all.
(1) What is the meaning of life to you, and why are you here in this world?
Meaning of life (noun): the purpose of life. Something that you cannot live without because without it, you will be living your life aimlessly. I believe that this meaning of life should be pretty constant throughout one’s life, unless one is faced with a crisis that completely changes him.
With that, I guess it is different from passion too because passion may change from time to time. Underneath all the passions that I have and the confusion of what I like to do, one thing that says pretty constant would be breakthroughs.
I live for breakthroughs.
But I don’t think the meaning of life is just about breakthroughs as that would have been reductive. I believe, what I am aiming for in breakthroughs are the ones that can make a difference to the human kind. Majority of my “breakthroughs” so far has to deal with the arts and how we should live as fellow human beings, which is pretty strange for me I guess as I am supposed to be an engineer by training. I guess this also answers the second question on why I think I am in this world for.
(2) What do you hold dear to your heart
Personally, two things, Sanity, Creativity
I’m not sure if I can be what I am today without a tinge of sanity. I don’t fear growing old I guess but I do fear growing insane. The thought of losing my sanity scares me.
Creativity is the part which keeps me daring to try new things. It is the part of me that keeps life interesting. It is the part of me which makes me grow as a person.
(3) What are your dreams and aspirations, however silly you think they may be? (Places to go, things to see, stuff to do.)
These are written down as my personal manifesto which can be found here: https://cfnsa.wordpress.com/my-personal-manifesto/
(4) In what areas in your life do you feel you are inadequate and wish to change?
I find it difficult at times to engage with people at their heart. I do try my best to practice empathy, putting myself in others’ shoes although a lot of times, I couldn’t help it but to think with my head than feel with my heart. Even empathy feels sort of like it is logically analysed and deduced rather than felt.
I also find a need to be affirmed by others to know if I am doing things right. Sometimes I wish I should just stop holding back, hack societal norms and just believe in myself a little bit more. I guess this is the part of me where I try to avoid conflicts: I largely try to avoid it unless it is against my conscious or my principles.
(5) Who/What are the people/experiences in your past that was life changing.
Way too many to name! To answer this, there is a need to delve into quite a bit of my history which for the most part, I am willing to share but it can develop into a TL;DR very quickly.
A summarised version of this will be that I was a negative, insecure and anti-social boy up till the point when I entered service with the Navy and my life changed ever since. From there on, I tried to create different opportunities and different experiences to develop myself as a person and every “experience” opportuntiy which I have grabbed and every person whom I have met was part of the grand life changing experience.
So what I’m going to do instead, is to dedicate this part of the answer to those who have (1) accepted me as that negative, insecure and anti-social boy as whom he was and (2) those who are still shaping and changing my life now.
For (1), first and foremost, it has to be my family. There was the first person whom I can truly consider as my friend, my current group of best friends, especially YM and LS, and there are four very special officers from the Navy, Jeffrey, Ivan, Ah Chua and Colonel Low (whom I’m very sure he has already risen a few ranks above at this moment). Of course, there are many others too.
As for (2), this gets really tricky as that could mean many many many people and experiences. This is another TL:DR list. If I am forced to choose five, it will have to be Lusi Lim, Brene Brown, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (the book), Toastmasters and Running events during my varsity days.
Thank you for making me who I am today.
(6) What will you miss/regret most when you’re on your dying bed?
To be held back by societal norms. (see answer to Question 4)
(7) What is Love?
“Baby, don’t hurt me”
I haven’t given this a serious thought before but I supposed love is when there is acceptance when you are yourself and when you care no matter how terrible things can get.
(8) If everything in this world freezes in time for an hour except you, and every human’s mind is under your control for that hour. What would you do?
I think I will not do anything. I’m a believer that I should not do anything unto others that I do not want others to do unto me. By the time I struggled through my integrity check, centuries would probably have passed and I will missed that opportunity so in short, nothing.